Remember when I was your colony?
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY.
Yeah, remember that tea in the harbor thing. No? Well, we do. That’s why we drink coffee, and leave the ‘u’ out between the ‘o’ and ‘r’, and say aluminum, and eat cookies instead of biscuits, and put obscene amounts of ice in our drinks. ‘Cause that’s what makes us Amerkans! So, grab a cold beer and an explosive. Let’s celebrate Independence Day!